I came across something on Pinterest the other day that left a bad taste in my mouth. It was simple and relatively inoffensive. So I took a while unpacking what about it made me squeamish. The heading read, “29 Things I Wish My Boyfriend Would Wear Now.” Harmless, right? In essence, I’m sure it was intended that way. The link rolled through twenty-nine images of scruffy-faced men with impeccable style and chiseled features. They all seemed effortlessly put together with just enough gel in their hair to look intentional. But with those simple mouse clicks, a round-up like that has us looking at our boyfriend (or husband) with a critical eye. That title automatically suggests that we’re discontent with how they dress–as if we could do better with their wardrobe if they’d let us. Maybe that’s the truth. Maybe we do have a better style eye and would love to shop them into that David Beckham look-a-like. But what’s the purpose? What’s the benefit of pushing those feelings onto someone else? What may seem innocent in our mind could easily translate to feelings of inadequacy on the other end.
I’ve mentioned before that I’m grateful E understands and appreciates my views on fashion. He respects and supports my decision to publish a blog and even contributes on occasion. But I feel compelled to be clear on something: I don’t shop for him, I don’t ‘dress’ him, and I only give input when it’s invited. He likes this opportunity to share his perspective and give a little inspiration from his own closet. But that’s what this ‘a gentle(man) friday’ installment is meant to be. It’s not a ruler to measure someone else against. A look like this men’s plaid fall fashion is merely an invitation to take that vision and make it your own. I hope you can see + hear our heart on this, knowing we always want to build each other (and you) up.
So this fashionable lumberjack and I are looking forward to a Halloween weekend of (slightly) scary movies, mounds of candy, and a Sunday stroll through Boston.
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